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Q: I’ve always gotten strong formal performance reviews from my principal, and I have a fantastic reputation among students and families. Nevertheless, I’ve had several disagreements with my principal in recent months of a more personal, political nature. She isn’t a fan of things like gender affinity groups, and I recently started a program that involves mentoring boys. As a male teacher, it’s something I’ve long felt was necessary in my school district, but my principal thinks it’s “too political.” This is the main reason I recently interviewed for an opening at another school in my district. I think there’d be more support for this particular program there because the principal indicated that she hopes to start something similar.

I was just invited to a second round interview and was asked to provide references. It’s pretty hard not to list my current principal, and even if I didn’t list her, I think the principal at this other school is likely to end up talking to her about me anyway. After all, they’re colleagues. Is there anything I can do to stop my current principal from tanking my chances? Based on these recent, heated interactions with her, I’m pretty sure she’ll be spiteful.

 

A: Your principal may give a negative reference, or she may be relieved that you’re trying to leave and focus on the positive contributions you’ve made to the school as a teacher and innovator. Even if she doesn’t want you to leave or she’s spiteful enough to torpedo your chances, she may decide it’s not worth it. She probably understands that you’ll continue to travel in the same circles, and denigrating you could reflect poorly on her. Plus, if word gets out that she retaliated against a good teacher for personal, political reasons, it could be counterproductive and hinder her ability to hire new staff. That said, she could choose to say little beyond confirming your dates of employment, which could be equally damaging.

So what can you do? You have a few options. You could let it play out and see what happens. Or if you think your principal would be amenable to an honest conversation, you could share your plans with her and ask her if she thinks she could give you a positive reference. If she demurs, list someone else. Even better, list a few other colleagues who will give you glowing references. You also could contact a human resources representative and ask for advice. Someone in that department might be able to give you a written reference highlighting your past positive reviews, too.

The goal is to ensure that potential future employers get accurate information about your experience and qualifications without raising any red flags. To that end, while it might feel self-protective to share your concerns with the other school’s principal in advance, I’d try to keep her out of it. Instead, you’re probably better served by taking the high road, keeping the interview process positive and professional, and hoping for the best. If things don’t go your way, you can then have a calm, clarifying conversation with your current principal about what she’s been saying about you. If all else fails, you might need to consider legal remedies, but that should be a last resort.

 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Phyllis L. Fagell

PHYLLIS L. FAGELL is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.